web analytics

Today is my 34th birthday.

33 is ending very differently than it began. I was a brunette working in finance with an almost-boyfriend. I’m now a blonde working in real estate and construction with no boyfriend in sight (which is more than okay). I don’t know that I’m happier than I would have been if everything worked out as I so fervently hoped, but I am content. No, not content. I’m still restless and impatient and dreaming of a future I can’t see yet. I’ve accepted that my plans didn’t work out. I’m okay. So many times I told myself, “You must make this job/relationship/thing work out, or you will not be okay.” And yet everything went to shit, and I am still here. I am okay.

I might actually be more than okay.

My 34th birthday is in a few weeks, and I really need to get my shit together, er, meet some goals before I hit my mid-thirties. Oh god. How am I almost 34 and not 14?!

 

Me on my 14th birthday with two-thirds of my younger siblings. Hashtag resting bitch face 4LYFE.

 

I think this list is actually supposed to 36 things I’m going to do before I hit 35, but let’s be real, y’all — if I get 10 of these done, I’m going to be super proud of myself.

  1. Visit a city I’ve never been to before.
  2. Paint my living room (bonus points for bedroom and kitchen).
  3. Buy a new car.
  4. Start journaling again.
  5. Write more. (I’d like to get some of my writing published, but that’s more of a wish than a goal.)
  6. Get a bed frame and a new sheet/comforter set.
  7. Don’t give up on this blog!
  8. Work on my hand-lettering and calligraphy.
  9. Go back to school or whatever I need to do to begin my career change.
  10. End 34 healthier than I will be starting it.
  11. Get my wisdom teeth removed. (I know, I know, I should have done it like 15 years ago.)
  12. Grow a plant and don’t let it die.
  13. Actually finish five books I haven’t read before.
  14. Organize my closets, including…
  15. Donating or selling stuff I’m not going to ever wear again.
  16. Repierce my nostril.
  17. Get a new tattoo/fix the one on my leg.
  18. Start hiking and riding my bike again.
  19. Get more involved in the charities and groups that are important to me. Make activism a bigger part of my life.
  20. Do one thing that scares me — go on a plane, go to the top of a tall building, touch a tarantula… Something that gives me goosebumps just thinking about.
  21. Wear something that scares me, and not just in the house, but in public. I’m talking bikini, crop top, romper. And then document it here and on Instagram.
  22. Perfect my liquid eyeliner. Or attempt to.
  23. Build my savings account up by $1000+.
  24. Raise my credit score another 10 points.
  25. Maybe potentially possibly do the St Jude 5k?
  26. Take a train down to New Orleans.
  27. Make more things to sell on my Etsy.
  28. Continue to work on my mental and emotional health by finding a new therapist (my old one retired, wahhhh!), making sure I refill my meds on time, finding coping skills for my anxiety, and continuing to practice self love and positive thinking. (Even when I don’t wanna.)
  29. Start drawing and painting again.
  30. Look up local auditions for plays and maybe go audition (if I find a play I’m interested in).
  31. Put up shelves in my kitchen.
  32. Add more artwork to the collage wall in my living room.
  33. Donate to charity at least once a month.
  34. Stay frosty.

 

Wish me luck!

    • Today was pretty awesome. ❤️ @buzzcocked •••
••
#ootd #psootd #whatiwore #whatimwearing #wiw #whatiworetoday #curvygirl #curvy #curves #curvesahead #curvywoman #curvyfashion #curvystyle #plussize #plussizefashion #plusisamust #plussizestyle #bodypositive #bodypositivity #bopo #psblogger #psbloggers #blogger #plussizeblogger #plussizebeauty #girlswithcurves #tealhair #greenhair #bluehair #alternativecurves
    • I don’t have super any recent pics, so here’s a drunken selfie of me from a few weeks ago to go along with this absolutely irrelevant chain of text. I’ve also turned off comments because I don’t want pity or sympathy or advice. I just want to purge my feelings. I haven’t posted much in awhile because I’m not happy. I haven’t liked myself in awhile, and January and February have never been good months for me. I’ve been really self-critical and sad and isolating myself from the world when I’m not working. I know logically that this depressive period will end, but that doesn’t mean it hurts less or doesn’t feel unending. I’ll probably feel ashamed by tomorrow and delete this post, but don’t forget your “gone” friends. They may be hiding from the gray skies right now, but they will bloom again when the sun returns.
    • Work party last night! And snow! ❤️❄️ I hate that I didn’t pics of everyone.
•••
••
#ootd #psootd #whatiwore #whatimwearing #wiw #whatiworetoday #curvygirl #curvy #curves #curvesahead #curvywoman #curvyfashion #curvystyle #plussize #plussizefashion #plusisamust #plussizestyle #bodypositive #bodypositivity #bopo #psblogger #psbloggers #blogger #plussizeblogger #plussizebeauty #girlswithcurves #tealhair #greenhair #bluehair #alternativecurves
    • Channeling Wednesday Addams and, yes, I cleaned my mirror after taking these.
•••
••
#ootd #psootd #whatiwore #whatimwearing #wiw #whatiworetoday #curvygirl #curvy #curves #curvesahead #curvywoman #curvyfashion #curvystyle #plussize #plussizefashion #plusisamust #plussizestyle #bodypositive #bodypositivity #bopo #psblogger #psbloggers #blogger #plussizeblogger #plussizebeauty #girlswithcurves #pinkhair #alternativecurves
    • 2009 vs now. Me then: “I won’t be happy until I’m skinny!” Naw, girl, you won’t be happy until you quit accepting shitty behavior in relationships, get your meds straight, go to therapy, and focus on yourself. I may have gained weight and gone through some real shit, but things are so much better now.
•••
••
#curvygirl #curvy #curves #curvesahead #curvywoman #curvyfashion #curvystyle #plussize #plussizefashion #plusisamust #plussizestyle #bodypositive #bodypositivity #bopo #psblogger #psbloggers #blogger #plussizeblogger #plussizebeauty #girlswithcurves #purplehair #pinkhair #alternativecurves
    • 2018 was my “get shit done” year. I’ve focused on my career, my home, and doing things I’ve needed to do for years. I’ve gone back to therapy, took a year off from dating, and have tried to stay on top of my health, both mentally and physically. I hope that 2019 will continue in this vein, and be the year I worked towards finding my own happiness. I finally feel like I deserve that.
•••
••
#curvygirl #curvy #curves #curvesahead #curvywoman #curvyfashion #curvystyle #plussize #bodypositive #bodypositivity #bopo #plussizebeauty #girlswithcurves #pinkhair #alternativecurves #mentalhealth #mentalillness
    • Meowy Christmas!! 🎄🐱
•••
••
#ootd #psootd #whatiwore #whatimwearing #wiw #whatiworetoday #curvygirl #curvy #curves #curvesahead #curvywoman #curvyfashion #curvystyle #plussize #plussizefashion #plusisamust #plussizestyle #bodypositive #bodypositivity #bopo #psblogger #psbloggers #blogger #plussizeblogger #plussizebeauty #girlswithcurves #purplehair #pinkhair #alternativecurves #christmas
    • Top 9. Thanks for all the likes, comments, and generally putting up with my nonsense.
•••
••
#ootd #psootd #whatiwore #whatimwearing #wiw #whatiworetoday #curvygirl #curvy #curves #curvesahead #curvywoman #curvyfashion #curvystyle #plussize #plussizefashion #plusisamust #plussizestyle #bodypositive #bodypositivity #bopo #psblogger #psbloggers #blogger #plussizeblogger #plussizebeauty #girlswithcurves #purplehair #pinkhair #alternativecurves
    • Festive af last night. Second picture was, uh, several drinks in at a Christmas party.
•••
••
#ootd #psootd #whatiwore #whatimwearing #wiw #whatiworetoday #curvygirl #curvy #curves #curvesahead #curvywoman #curvyfashion #curvystyle #plussize #plussizefashion #plusisamust #plussizestyle #bodypositive #bodypositivity #bopo #psblogger #psbloggers #blogger #plussizeblogger #plussizebeauty #girlswithcurves #purplehair #pinkhair #alternativecurves
    • My coworker said I looked like a rich bitch after I put on my coat, but my outfit is totally Target except for my boots. But if you pronounce it “Tar-jay,” we can pretend I paid hundreds of dollars for this look.
•••
••
#ootd #psootd #whatiwore #whatimwearing #wiw #whatiworetoday #curvygirl #curvy #curves #curvesahead #curvywoman #curvyfashion #curvystyle #plussize #plussizefashion #plusisamust #plussizestyle #bodypositive #bodypositivity #bopo #psblogger #psbloggers #blogger #plussizeblogger #plussizebeauty #girlswithcurves #purplehair #pinkhair #alternativecurves #targetstyle
    • My first Christmas in my apartment (2016) vs this year. Still don’t think I have enough decorations though.
••
•••
#home #homedecor #living #livingroom #livingroomdecor #vintage #vintagehome #homesweethome #southerncharm #southernliving #memphis #midtownmemphis #catcourt #apartmenttherapy #apartmentliving #smallspaceliving #apartment #apartmentdecor #target #targethome #christmas #christmasdecor #christmasdecorations #pinktree #pinkchristmas #pinkchristmastree
    • Possibly professional.
•••
••
#ootd #psootd #whatiwore #whatimwearing #wiw #whatiworetoday #curvygirl #curvy #curves #curvesahead #curvywoman #curvyfashion #curvystyle #plussize #plussizefashion #plusisamust #plussizestyle #bodypositive #bodypositivity #bopo #psblogger #psbloggers #blogger #plussizeblogger #plussizebeauty #girlswithcurves #purplehair #pinkhair #alternativecurves